like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
