and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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