you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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