So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
