One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
