I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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