Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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