we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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