I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
