I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
