The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
