Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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