I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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