Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
