I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
sex in a hospital.. check
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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