Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
