I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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