O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize
