youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
how does that bad decision feel?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
