Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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