If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My ATM looks so different sober.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
