is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
