I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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