just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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