hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
