But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
