OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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