Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
