I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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