a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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