i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
