at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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