It's Friday. Sex?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
