She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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