ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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