I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
