dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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