pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
