try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
