There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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