Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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