actually, I'm a sock model
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
