Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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