Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
