come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
