kristin has been a bad kristin
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
