I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
