I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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