is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
