She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
