He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
