doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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