Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
