I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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