so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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