I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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