I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
