I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
